Oh, Mood?
by Die Einzelganger
Summary: Retirement Home AU, or dry meme child Kuroda meets the curious elderly, who have all come from different walks of life and are just trying to have a good time and find out what the student volunteer is talking about.


**NOTE:**

My good friend Charmingstrangeness and I had a wonderful discussion about this AU some time ago, and back then, I sketched out a very short version of this story to show her and basically add more material to the discussion, but our lives got busy and I didn't get a chance to submit it to her. Recently, this AU came up again between us, and I remembered my draft, so I dusted it off to see where I could take it, and this was the result!

If we ever write what we had originally planned, you would basically get the prequel of this story. For now, please enjoy this little experiment, and let me know if you liked it! I would love to hear from my readers - kind words help me than you think!

* * *

Morning light spilled through the windows and splashed golden froth across the retirement home's common room, where a dozen residents had gathered after breakfast in search of comfort and idle pursuits. Some dozed off, and others tended to their crafts and crossword puzzles as a small group of close-knit regulars began to form around one of the coffee tables. There, Arakita Yasutomo and Makishima Yuusuke sat side by side on the sofa, a large gray Kurilian bobtail purring contentedly in their bony laps. Yuusuke rested his head on Yasutomo's shoulder, their hands entwined beneath Suki-chan's tremendous coat of fur. Yasutomo cracked a grin and closed his eyes.

In another minute, Naruko Shoukichi settled down in one of the armchairs opposite them, and Fukutomi Juichi rolled his wheelchair over to his side to hear the morning news. Naruko cleared his throat.

"Listen to this," he adjusted his reading glasses for dramatic effect. _"Kanagawa man scoops and eats thirty goldfish at festival to prove a point!"_

"Eh? What was the point?" Yuusuke quirked a brow.

"That people from Kanagawa are morons," quipped Yasutomo, eliciting a loud _Ka-ka-ka!_ from Naruko.

"Arakita…" Fukutomi lifted his head, a glint of defiance behind his bifocals. "I'm from Kanagawa!"

"Did I stutter, Fuku-chan?"

 _"No!"_

"There ya go," Yasutomo gave Suki-chan a back rub.

"You're from Kanagawa too, sho," said Yuusuke, obviously amused.

"Oh look, more conclusive evidence! I rest my case, your Honor," Yasutomo grinned back. Yuusuke clicked his tongue, but leaned over and pecked Yasutomo's lips all the same.

"Good morning, everyone!" one of the caretakers, Ishigaki Koutarou entered the common room. "May I have your attention, please?"

Naruko lowered the newspaper and turned to face him, as did everyone else currently awake. Ishigaki bowed to them, and with a beckoning gesture towards the entrance, he summoned a silver-haired young man to his side.

"I'm pleased to announce that we received our first student volunteer this morning! Please welcome Kuroda Yukinari-kun, who will be assisting us for the next four weeks!" Ishigaki flashed him an encouraging smile. Feeling prompted, Kuroda performed a short, mechanic bow to the residents, his expression deadpan as he uttered a quiet,

"I look forward to working with you."

 _"Kuroda?"_ Naruko lifted a hand to point at his hair. "More like _Shiroda,_ am I right?"

 _"Shiruva?"_ echoed Fukutomi. Yuusuke snorted into his palm at the accidental pun.

"Nah, it's _Yuki-chan!"_ Yasutomo joined in. "Nice white hair ya got, Yuki-chan! You trying to blend in with us or what?" he pointed to his own graying tufts.

"Ka-ka-ka! Don't be silly," Naruko waved him off. "It must've snowed on his head this morning! Wait until it thaws, he might be brown under there!"

Fukutomi failed to smother a giggle, at which point several residents dissolved into chuckles. Kuroda slowly turned to Ishigaki, grim understanding etched onto his face.

"Is this why you rarely receive volunteers, Ishigaki-san..?"

"Please don't judge them too early," Ishigaki's smile turned nervous. "I swear they're very pleasant people once you get to know them…"

"Alright!" Naruko grabbed his cane and rose from his armchair. "All this excitement has got the old bowels moving! I'll be right back!" he made his way towards the nearest bathroom.

"Just don't flood the toilet again," Yasutomo leaned forward to shout after him, "or Yuki-chan will turn brown for sure!"

As everyone around him erupted in laughter except Fukutomi, who struggled to contain his mirth to the last, Ishigaki buried his face in his hands.

 _"Please bear with us, Kuroda-kun.."_ he wheezed through his fingers. Kuroda suppressed a sigh.

* * *

"Well, how did it go?" Tadokoro Jin grinned at them as soon as Ishigaki and Kuroda retired to the caretakers' lounge. "You got a warm welcome, Kuroda?"

Kuroda chose to remain silent, but his face spoke volumes. Ishigaki sighed.

"They teased him about his hair the entire time. _Honestly…"_

"Oh? What about his hair?" Tadokoro moved over to the coffee machine, setting a pair of cups under the nozzle.

"One of them said he would shake my hand, but he was afraid the tremors might send my dandruff flying all over the place," replied Kuroda. Tadokoro snorted.

"Naruko or Arakita?" he turned around with two cups of freshly brewed coffee.

"Arakita," Ishigaki shook his head as he accepted the offering.

 _"Figures,"_ chuckled Tadokoro. Kuroda looked to him for an explanation, but received none. Instead, Tadokoro stepped over to the fridge and fished out a can of soda for their guest.

"Don't you worry," he shoved it into Kuroda's hands and clapped him on the shoulder. "Those two are as bad as it gets, but they won't bother you much. They're in assisted living upstairs and do fine on their own. While you're working with us, you'll only see them during meals, or when it's time for their medication… Well, you might see Arakita around more often, but that just means he's keeping busy as usual."

"Are all the residents in assisted living?" asked Kuroda. Ishigaki shook his head.

"We only have a handful of them at the moment. Most of our residents require more extensive care and live downstairs, but Tadoyan and I will handle that part. You'll mostly assist us in minor chores and study how elderly care is performed."

"So I don't have to bathe anyone, or sit with them for hours at a time, right?" Kuroda took a weary sip of his soda. Ishigaki paused.

"When you have nothing to do, you might want to spend some time with them," he said carefully. "They have some amazing stories to tell, and few of them receive regular visitors. Being able to spend time with someone young might cheer them up, and student volunteer work here is more about understanding the needs of the elderly than about nursing. Do you follow, Kuroda-kun?"

Kuroda gave a tentative nod. Ishigaki tried for a smile.

"Please bear with us. I promise we have some fantastic people in our care, and they're more than happy to have you here with us."

Kuroda hummed, and just as he relaxed into a curt smile of his own, Naruko banged on the open door with his cane and nearly startled Ishigaki into dropping his cup.

"Ishiyan! Ossan! _I just took my best dump this month!"_ he cackled as he gave them a thumbs up. "The toilet had enough halfway through, but I kept pushing and pushing! If it had been alive, it would have been screaming for mercy! It's still gurgling, actually..! You might wanna call a plumber, it really sounds like it's dying."

Ishigaki and Tadokoro froze up, faces twitching. A few seconds of hellish silence passed, and then Kuroda said in a quiet voice,

 _"Mood…"_

* * *

That was just the beginning, and sooner than he had expected, Kuroda realized just how much he could relate to everyday life at the retirement home… and unlike the elderly, most of whom had long lost touch with the times, Kuroda's generation had a few terrific phrases to express that pervasive feeling of being reflected in the mundane mishaps of others: _me, same,_ and _mood._

* * *

"Fukutomi-ojiisan, we're coming in," Tadokoro called out before entering with Kuroda in tow, who had recently been promoted from measuring out meals in the kitchen and serving them in the dining hall to accompanying the caretakers as they checked on the downstairs residents, made sure they were comfortably employed, and cleaned up around them if necessary. After a row of private rooms with soft beds and endearing clutters of homely decor, Kuroda found Fukutomi's corner remarkably empty save for a few trophies on the shelves, a futon, and a gaming table with a shogi board on top, where the owner of the room currently sat in his wheelchair.

Fukutomi paid them no mind; his attention had been consumed by the shogi pieces in play. Though the match seemed highly advanced, he had no apparent opponent apart from the Kurilian bobtail Kuroda had spotted earlier in the common room, which now sat opposite Fukutomi and preened its large, stubby paws in cheerful complacency. Up close, Kuroda noticed it wore a soft cotton collar around its neck, one that brought shirts and blouses to mind instead of name tags and leashes.

"Tough match, I see," teased Tadokoro. Fukutomi hummed and furrowed his impressive gray eyebrows even more. "Fukutomi-ojiisan is shaping up to be a real pro," Tadokoro turned to Kuroda with a grin. "When he first arrived here years ago, he didn't talk at all, and he didn't have any hobbies to keep him active, so Arakita made him try every game in the common room. He hasn't stopped playing since."

"Arakita-ojiisan sounds meddlesome," said Kuroda as he inched closer to the table. Tadokoro barked a laugh.

"He pesters everyone from time to time, but his heart's in the right place. He can't stand to see people give up on themselves. Thanks to him, Fukutomi-ojiisan improved a lot. Arakita even got him into a senior shogi tournament two years ago. He won third place."

"That's amazing," Kuroda stopped by Suki-chan's side to study the pieces.

"Your move," prompted Fukutomi, his eyes on the cat. As if she understood, Suki-chan stopped preening, climbed halfway onto the shogi board towards Fukutomi, and after a moment of playful hesitation, she batted at a piece in her way, which landed by Fukutomi's king.

"Check?!" blurted Kuroda. Fukutomi's brow twitched.

 ** _"NO!"_** he took a swipe at the board, sending the pieces flying all over the room and causing Suki-chan to shrink backwards. A few seconds passed. Tadokoro heaved a sigh.

"Fukutomi-ojiisan… what did we tell you about doing that," he kneeled down to gather the pieces closest to his feet. Fukutomi didn't reply, but when Suki-chan meowed at him, he straightened in his seat and hung his head.

"You're right… I acted disgracefully," his hands clenched in his lap. He jerked forward in a bow. _"I apologize!"_

Suki-chan meowed again and crossed the board, stopping by the edge closest to Fukutomi, where she broke into a low purr. Fukutomi reached out his arms and gathered the cat into his lap to hug it close. Suki-chan let him bury his face in her back and kept purring with a bored look in her round green eyes.

 _"Me.."_ said Kuroda, staring at the pair. Tadokoro looked up.

"Which one? Him, or the cat?"

"Both," replied Kuroda. Fukutomi looked up from Suki-chan's bushy coat, but before he could open his mouth, Kuroda moved past him to help Tadokoro, and so the moment to ask for clarification had passed as swiftly as his tantrum.

* * *

Two days later, on the last day of Kuroda's first week of volunteer work, Ishigaki decided to up the pace.

"Today we'll go upstairs," he motioned for Kuroda, who had to squeeze past a bulking metal medicine cart to join him in the elevator. "Those in assisted living do not require nursing, so we only go upstairs if they call for us, or to bring their medication," Ishigaki tapped the handle of the cart. "Please push the cart for me, and carry their trays inside. We have them labeled, so check the name before you remove the trays. Can you do it, Kuroda-kun?"

Kuroda hummed as he ran a finger down the side of the cart, tracing the labels. As suspected, he found _Naruko Shoukichi_ and _Arakita Yasutomo_ among them. Somehow, seeing the full name filled him with a vague sense of _déja vu_ he couldn't place.

The elevator opened with a soft ping, followed by an inquisitive meow - Suki-chan standing in the middle of the hallway, still wearing her soft cotton collar. Ishigaki stepped out of the elevator without a care, but Kuroda hesitated.

"Ishigaki-san? Isn't this Fukutomi-ojiisan's cat?" his eyes fixed on the large, fluffy monster drawing figure eights around Ishigaki's calves. "What's it doing upstairs?"

Ishigaki smiled and beckoned him to come forward with the medicine cart.

"It's actually Arakita-san's cat, but everyone treats her as part of the staff now," he explained as they made their way down the hall, Suki-chan trotting alongside them. "Arakita-san found Suki-chan on the street when she was just a kitten, and brought her back here without telling anyone. He hid her in his room and took care of her, and none of us found out until a few months later. Arakita-san had grown very attached to her by then, and because Suki-chan was clean and friendly, the management agreed to let her stay. She wears that nurse's collar because she walks about the building and seeks out those who need comfort, so she's taking care of the residents' wellbeing in a way we can't."

"Is that why she was in Fukutomi-ojiisan's room?" Kuroda gave the cat an amused look.

"Exactly," replied Ishigaki. "Fukutomi-ojiisan is very fond of her. She can calm him down faster than any of us could. Well, here we are," Ishigaki stopped by one of the small apartments to their right and rapped his knuckles on the door. "Makishima-san? It's time for your medication!"

"Come on in, sho," came Yuusuke's voice from within. Ishigaki opened the door and held it for Kuroda, who removed the tray labelled _Makishima Yuu._ from their medicine cart and carried it inside. They found Yuusuke perched beside Yasutomo on the sofa, a blanket tucked around his legs and Yasutomo's left arm draped over his shoulders. Ishigaki walked into the kitchenette to pour Yuusuke a large glass of water and take a plastic straw from the container by the sink, while Kuroda stepped in front of him and lowered the tray within easy reach.

"Here, Makishima-ojiisan," he nodded to a cluster of assorted pills. Yuusuke thanked him and took the straw-equipped glass from Ishigaki, them picked up his first pill, taking them one at a time with long sips of water in-between. Kuroda quirked a brow at his slow, repetitive movements. Sensing impatience, Yasutomo gave Yuusuke's shoulder a protective rub.

"It's his esophagus," he said to Kuroda. "He's gotta take stuff one at a time or it's too much and he'll choke."

 _"Same.."_ replied Kuroda.

"Eh? You too?" Yuusuke stopped to stare.

"What?" Kuroda stared back as if Yuusuke had shaken him out of a trance. It was Yasutomo's turn to quirk a brow, but Kuroda chose to ignore him, and Yuusuke continued to take his medication one pill at a time. Yasutomo soon gave up of silently quizzing Kuroda and turned to watch Yuusuke with a soft smile on his face.

"You two seem very close…" Kuroda said at last. Yasutomo's eyes flitted back to him.

"We just got engaged last month," he replied. The tray rattled in Kuroda's hands.

"Really?!" he blurted without thinking. Yasutomo gave him a look.

"Yeah, _really._ What, you think old folks can't fall in love anymore? That we don't got lives and dreams anymore? Just cause we're here doesn't mean we've stopped being people!" he snapped back, startling Kuroda into embarrassed silence. _"Sheesh!_ We've been people longer than you, you high-school brat! Did you know this guy's a road racing legend?" he tapped Yuusuke's shoulder. "And me? I used to be someone in baseball."

 _Baseball… That's it!_ Kuroda's eyes lit up as the name clicked in from his father's stories: Arakita "Youkai" Yasutomo of the Yokohama Wolves, whose lucky star kept rising until his elbow injury forced him to drop out with a useless arm at the beginning of the seventies, just a few years before American surgeon Frank Lobe saved Tommy John's major league pitching career.

"And now we're old and we just got engaged and we're gonna spend the rest of our lives together," Yasutomo carried on to his stunned audience, "so don't underestimate us!"

The next moment, Yuusuke seized up as his last pill took a wrong turn down. He gave a strangled cough and leaned forward with a hand over his face as Yasutomo unfurled his arm to give his back a few hard taps. On Yuusuke's next cough, the pill shot out between his fingers and fell on the tray, where it left a thin trail of saliva on its way to the edge.

"Sorry.." breathed Yuusuke. Kuroda's eyes fell on the wet mess on the tray.

 _"Me…"_

"What, the _pill?"_ Yasutomo gave him a look. He was ignored again.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

* * *

 ** _A week later…_**

"Arakita…" Fukutomi scooted closer to the sofa. Yasutomo refused to look up from his phone.

"Nope," he clicked _Auto-Set_ in the Goodies menu, then filled the bowls with Bonito Bitz.

"Come on, Claws!" Naruko banged his cane on the floor. "Don't make us beg!"

"I'm trying to catch Whiteshadow, leave me alone."

"If you go and ask him, Whiteshadow might come around by the time you're done, sho," said Yuusuke.

"But why do _I_ gotta do it?" Yasutomo lowered his phone. "You're all adults, aren't you?"

"You're the resident errand boy!" Naruko pointed a finger. Yasutomo choked.

"I try to keep active and I sometimes go get you all stuff you're too weak to get for yourselves, and this is how you repay me?! Get out of my face! Get constipated!"

 _"Harsh!"_

"You don't have to ask Kuroda-kun directly if you don't want to," said Yuusuke. "He's about Sakamichi's age, right? Maybe _he_ would know, sho."

"You want me to call Sacchan and ask why a boy his age keeps saying _me_ at random garbage?" Yasutomo turned to him.

"If you don't want to ask Kuroda-kun, that's your best bet, sho," Yuusuke shrugged his shoulders. "It's worth a try, right?"

"Fine, _fine,"_ Yasutomo closed Neko Atsume. "Bunch of kids, all of you," he looked up his grandson's number and held the phone to his ear.

 _"Jii-chan?"_ Sakamichi picked up at last. Yasutomo cracked a grin.

"Hey, Sacchan. You busy?"

 _"N-No, we're just watching Royal Force with Akira."_

"Ain't he too young for Royal Force?"

 _"I'm watching with him, and he's really into it so far!"_

"Well, I guess after KuJo's, Royal Force ain't so bad. But uh, listen, Sacchan, Jii-chan's got something to ask you."

 _"Oh? Is everything alright?"_

"Oh, yeah, everything's fine. Listen, we got a student volunteer about your age, and he keeps talking gibberish. Things like _me,_ and _same,_ and _mood,_ he keeps saying this stuff at random and we're getting really confused, so, do you know what he's talking about?"

 _"Mood?"_ echoed Sakamichi. _"Well… they're not fandom terms, so I'm not really sure…"_

"So what do you think it is? Slang?"

 _"It could be.. Sorry, Jii-chan, I guess I'm not much help…"_

"That's okay, Sacchan. Thanks anyway. Tell everyone we love them, alright?"

 _"Okay! We love you, too! We'll come visit you soon!"_

"Aight, we'll be waiting! Bye bye," Yasutomo clicked _End Call._ The others fixed on him in mounting impatience. Yasutomo sighed. "He don't know. It's probably some weird slang."

"Just ask Kuroda-kun, then," Yuusuke nudged him. "Do it for us, sho?"

"Come on, Claws!" Naruko wrung his cane. "We're _dying_ here! I haven't taken a good dump in days now!"

Yasutomo scratched his neck in discomfort. Opposite him, Fukutomi propped his hands on his knees and bowed as deeply as his rigid spine allowed.

"We're counting on you, _Arakita!"_ he cried out loud enough to turn several heads in their direction. Yasutomo gurgled.

"Alright, _alright,_ _I'll do it,_ **_so stop that!_** _Sheesh!"_

* * *

An hour later, Yasutomo poked his head into the caretakers' lounge for the fifth time.

"Ah, you're here now!" he stepped in when he noticed Kuroda by the table, seated opposite Ishigaki and Tadokoro with a can of soda in front of him. "Yuki-chan, I need you for a minute."

"It's almost time for the morning rounds…" began Ishigaki, but by the time he finished, Yasutomo had grabbed Kuroda's arm and tugged him off his chair.

"We won't take long, will we, Yuki-chan?" Yasutomo pulled his victim towards the hall. "I'll return him in five minutes tops, so hold your horses, alright?"

Ishigaki and Tadokoro exchanged glances. Tadokoro shrugged.

* * *

"Where are you taking me, Arakita-ojiisan?" Kuroda lagged behind Yasutomo, who pulled him into the elevator and placed his order for the first floor.

"Upstairs. I wanna talk to you."

"About what?" Kuroda shot him an uneasy look. Yasutomo forced a grin.

 _"Relax,_ Yuki-chan," he whapped Kuroda on the back. "This ain't a kidnapping. I just wanna talk to you in private, alright?"

Kuroda pursed his lips, but allowed himself to be taken to Yasutomo's apartment, where he was seated on the sofa, and a bottle of Bepsi slipped into his hand. A moment later, Yasutomo sat down beside him with his own Bepsi and unscrewed the cap. He took a long draught that drained the bottle in one go. Kuroda raised a brow.

"Yuki-chan…" Yasutomo lowered the bottle. "What does _mood_ mean?"

 _"Eh?"_ Kuroda stared back surprised. Yasutomo clicked his tongue.

"Don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about! You keep saying these words all over the place and we wanna know what they mean!"

 _"We,_ Arakita-ojiisan?"

"Yeah, I'm the chosen ambassador of my people," Yasutomo rolled his eyes. "So have mercy on us old geezers and tell me what all these words mean, huh?"

"Did I annoy you and the others that much by talking to myself..?" Kuroda scratched the back of his head.

"Look, we just wanna understand you, _alright?"_ Yasutomo threw up a hand. "You've been here long enough to be one of us now, so we wanna know what you're about!"

 _"One of you?"_ blinked Kuroda.

"Yeah! You go about and clean up for us, and bring us our pills, and sometimes you talk to us when we talk to you, and that means you belong here, so we wanna understand you and all these things you say. So come on…" Yasutomo laced his fingers together - or most of them, as his right pinkie and ring fingers remained tucked to his palm. "Talk to me."

"Alright.." Kuroda took a sip of his Bepsi. "I'll try and explain."

* * *

"…Do you understand now, Arakita-ojiisan?"

"Y-Yeah…" Yasutomo said at last. Kuroda checked his phone.

"I have to go help Ishigaki-san now. This took longer than I thought," he rose to his feet, then twitched to a halt as Yasutomo grabbed his wrist.

"Wait, Yuki-chan," he tugged at Kuroda's arm, just enough to coax him into turning back. "You… are you gonna be okay?"

Kuroda seemed confused. Yasutomo released his wrist.

"I sorta get that this _mood_ stuff is supposed to be funny," he began in a cautious tone, "but if my grandkids said it as often as you do around here, I'd be worried. It'd make more sense for old folks like us, who had seen a lot a shit, but for a kid to be saying it all the time…"

"You.. you worry about me?" Kuroda pointed to himself in disbelief. Yasutomo gave a reluctant nod.

"Yeah. You're.. you're too young to be feeling like garbage all the time."

Despite himself, Kuroda cracked a smile.

"Don't worry about me, Arakita-ojiisan," he pocketed his phone. "I'm doing fine, really. I'm just stressed and bored a lot, and right now, this is something that makes me laugh. In a year or two, it might be something else, but right now, being able to say that I'm doing fine on the outside, but still feel frustrated on the inside, is what helps relieve the pressure. Do you understand?"

"I think so," Yasutomo nodded. "I guess it's better than doing drugs or joining a gang, huh?"

"Something like that," Kuroda turned around to leave. "See you later, Arakita-ojiisan," he lifted his hand in a casual wave. Yasutomo returned the gesture, but the moment Kuroda closed the door, he collapsed into his seat and dug out his phone.

 _"Jii-chan?"_ came Sakamichi's voice from the other end. Yasutomo's lips twitched.

"Hey, Sacchan… how you doing? You feeling okay? What about Aki-chan? He doing alright?"

 _"Yeah!"_ Sakamichi's voice grew warm and chipper. _"We rode to Akiba this morning and got the limited edition Torakon blu-ray! I'm so happy!"_

"That's.. That's _great,_ Sacchan. I'm glad," Yasutomo slumped backwards in relief.

* * *

"Alright," Yasutomo sank into his seat at the mahjong table once all the tiles have been shuffled, and drew a handful for his wall. "This senior's meeting is now called to order."

"Did you manage to talk to Kuroda-kun, sho?" asked Yuusuke behind his steadily forming wall. Naruko and Fukutomi exchanged excited glances. Yasutomo nodded.

"Okay, so here's what I got," he started on his top stack. "So Yuki-chan says that _me,_ and _same,_ and _mood,_ and all the other weird things he says, these all mean that you relate to something, so you feel like that right now, or just in general. It's like, it's a creative way of saying, _yeah, I feel like this sometimes, so this is a mood."_

"Hmm.. it sounds so simple, but I'm still confused," Naruko adjusted his crooked wall. "He keeps saying it at all sorts of random stuff! I overheard him saying _Oh, worm?_ to a dead pigeon in the backyard! How is that relatable?! I don't get it at all!"

Fukutomi hummed in agreement over his own impeccable wall. Yuusuke beckoned for them and they pushed their walls towards the center of the table.

"Alright, alright," Yasutomo handed Yuusuke the dice, "Yuki-chan told me an example, so I'm gonna share it with you. Now—"

"Six," announced Yuusuke, then began a silent count by pointing from player to player until his finger stopped at Yasutomo. "You'll have to break the wall, sho."

"Ah, right," Yasutomo pulled his wall apart to form the dead wall, which branched into Fukutomi's wall, then flipped the third top tile from the left to reveal the dora indicator: a four of dots. "Okay, here's an example from the dorm Yuki-chan lives in. So like, a month ago, someone brought fruit into the dorm kitchen in a plastic bag, and this bag, it had a hole in the bottom, but nobody noticed. They were too busy to put the fruit away or they just forgot, and in the heat, the fruit got all mushy and oozed out of the bag and all over the plastic tablecloth, so when everyone got back in the evening, it was all sticky and disgusting and there was this crumpled plastic bag full of rotten fruit stuck to the tablecloth, right?"

"Ka-ka-ka! The smell must've been something else!" Naruko drew four tiles for his hand.

"Is that… a _mood?"_ asked Fukutomi, his tone cautious. Yasutomo nodded.

"You see, it's sorta like when writers wanna get all artsy, and they make up all these weird metaphors for how a person is feeling? So Yuki-chan came in, he looked at that plastic bag full of mushy rotten fruit stuck to the table by its own juices, and he thought, _yeah, I can relate to this, this state of feeling gross and stuck in a situation I didn't wanna be stuck in. That plastic bag is speaking to me, about how I feel in general, and I gotta say this, I gotta let the world know that this is how I feel._ He said it was a _big mood_ too, because he hadn't showered since the day before, so he was sweaty and gross just like that plastic bag and the tablecloth and all that. You follow?"

Fukutomi gave a delayed nod, a sure sign that he was still parsing this information, but refused to show weakness in front of the others. Yasutomo let it slide for the present.

"I've got a question," Naruko picked up his final tiles. "Do you only use _mood_ for weird, gross things, or can you also use it for nice things?"

"I'm not sure," Yasutomo shrugged as Yuusuke started the hand and drew his first tile, then promptly discarded it. "Yuki-chan said it's mostly used for weird and absurd stuff… but maybe, maybe you could use _mood,_ if you had a special word for it? Like how _big mood_ is for things you're feeling real strongly about? Maybe you could have something like that for happy stuff."

 _"Good mood?"_ suggested Naruko. Yasutomo made a face.

"I don't know…" he drew a tile, laying it on top of his hand. "I mean, if you use these for weird stuff in general, then it should be something that says, _I wanna feel good so I could relate to this?_ So like, maybe you can't relate, but you wanna?"

 _"Dream mood?"_ offered Yuusuke. He received tentative hums.

 _"Dream mood_ sounds good for now," said Yasutomo at last, then discarded a tile. "Maybe Yuki-chan knows what it's called but it just never came up. I'm gonna ask him next time."

His eyes shifted to Fukutomi, who drew a tile, then straightened to stare at his hand.

"Whatchu waiting for? Go and discard, Fuku-chan—"

 ** _"Tsumo! Hand of Earth!"_** bellowed Fukutomi as he pushed his tiles over to reveal his miraculous winning hand.

 _"Dream mood!"_ cried Naruko.

 ** _"Fuck off, Fuku-chan!"_** Yasutomo slammed his fist on the table, startling another resident into dropping his cup. It belched lukewarm tea all over his lap as it rolled off the folds of his cotton robe and tumbled to the floor, where it continued to weep tea onto the carpet. Slowly, Fukutomi raised a finger to point at the mess.

"Is that a _mood?"_

"That is officially a fucking _mood,"_ nodded Yasutomo. "Sorry," he waved a hand at the victim, who now beheld his stained robe in growing disdain.

"I'm the robe, sho," said Yuusuke.

"I'm the cup," Yasutomo glanced at the soiled carpet.

"Ka-ka-ka! Then this hand is the tea! Take a good hard sip of _this!"_ Naruko pointed to Fukutomi's tiles, who arched his head in obvious pride.

* * *

Three days later, the four of them gathered by one of the tables in the dining hall, where they soon received their respective dinner trays. All eyes fixed on Yasutomo as he accepted the soy sauce from Yuusuke and seasoned his udon. He cleared his throat.

"Alright. I managed to talk to him this afternoon," he began, "and Yuki-chan said that you don't really use _me,_ or _mood,_ or whatever for positive stuff, but if you wanted to, you could say _mood goals,_ and that would mean you really wanna relate."

"But what about if you really _do_ feel good?" asked Naruko over a large slurp of udon. "What do you say then?"

 _"I don't know!"_ Yasutomo threw his hands in the air. "Apparently young people ain't happy enough to have a word for their good mood!"

"Young people are unhappy?" Fukutomi looked up from his bowl in shock.

"Weren't you ever unhappy when you were young, sho?" Yuusuke quirked a brow.

 _"No,"_ came the stern reply. Silence fell.

"Well, _I_ was, sho," said Yuusuke, not looking anyone in the eye. Naruko lowered his chopsticks. Yasutomo reached for Yuusuke's hand under the table and squeezed it.

"But we should still think about a name for good moods," Naruko raised his chopsticks again. "Sometimes I feel really good and I wanna tell the world, so I gotta have a name for it!"

"You already got a name for it," replied Yasutomo. "It's, _hey guys, I just clogged the toilet!"_

Yuusuke turned away to snort into his palm. Fukutomi's lips twitched upward for a second.

"Yeah, but, I want it to be a _mood_ thing!" groused Naruko. "I wanna sound cool, damn it!"

Yasutomo sighed. "Alright," he drew a clump of udon and stuffed it into his mouth. "Any suggestions? Yuki-chan's a dry little smartass, so he can't help us there."

"…I have one," Yuusuke raised his hand. "What if you just said _mood,_ but you said it in a different way, sho?"

The others paused to stare.

"Different _how?"_ asked Yasutomo. Yuusuke scratched his cheek.

"Well, you know how when Kuroda-kun says _mood,_ he says it in a monotone voice? What if you said it in a really smug tone, sho?"

 _"Oooh,_ I get it!" Naruko wagged a finger. "It's like you're misusing it on purpose! Like you're rubbing it in that your _mood_ is actually a good mood!"

"Yuusuke, that's _genius,"_ Yasutomo leaned over with a grin to peck Yuusuke's cheek. "Wait till Yuki-chan hears that one, he's gonna love it!"

Yuusuke flushed a happy pink.

* * *

 **Ten days later…**

"Fukutomi-ojiisan, go easy on me, would you?" Kuroda scratched his head with an awkward smile as Fukutomi admired his winning Five Brights yaku.

"Told you, Yuki-chan," Yasutomo looked up from his phone to shake his head, then continued browsing with Yuusuke. "Fuku-chan is relentless in Koi-Koi."

"I win because I always move forward with certainty," declared Fukutomi. Yasutomo whistled.

"That was one long sentence, Fuku-chan! You feeling good today, huh?"

"I feel.. _strong!"_

 _"Mood…!"_ Naruko wagged his brows, then paused as something in the newspaper caught his eye. "Oh, listen to this!" he rattled the paper to secure their attention, then adjusted his glasses and read out loud, _"Kanagawa man beheaded in bizarre convenience store freezer accident."_

 _"Mood,"_ Kuroda, Yasutomo, and Yuusuke replied in a unanimous monotone.

A moment later, all five of them burst into wheezing laughter.

* * *

 **Epilogue**

 ** _Name and institute:_** _Kuroda Yukinari, Hakone Academy (Hakone, Kanagawa)_

 ** _Evaluation period:_** _July 30 - August 26_

 ** _Volunteered at:_** _Intaahai Retirement Home, Yokohama, Kanagawa_

 ** _Description:_** _Assistant Caretaker_

 ** _Supervisor:_** _Ishigaki Koutarou_

 ** _How would you evaluate your experience as a volunteer?_**

 _Thank you for the opportunity. Will volunteer again!_

* * *

 **END NOTE:**

In case you were wondering, Akira is *that* Akira, and he's Sakamichi's younger brother in this version of the AU. Sakamichi was born from Kanzaki Miki, and Akira was born some years later from Arakita Aya, who met Miki during her university years, and married her after graduation.

And yes, the name of the retirement home is exactly what it sounds like. I tried to find a common denominator for all the characters, and this was the result! As promised in his evaluation, Kuroda later went back to volunteer again, and managed to get time off at school to attend Arakita and Makishima's wedding in November. On the train, he sat next to an old man wearing an elaborate dark blue kimono with a matching hairband, and they ended up talking to pass the time, only to discover that they were going to attend the same wedding…

The Mahjong scene was inspired by Osomatsu-san (Season 1, Episode 21, "Mahjong"). I didn't really model the others' play after the Matsuno brothers - I just really liked the flow of that skit and Mahjong is apparently a favorite game among the Japanese elderly -, but I loved the titles Karamatsu gave to himself and his brothers, so this is my version:

"Table Smashing" Arakita (once put a crack in the tabletop with his fist)

"No Return Open Reach" Naruko (has never had a closed winning hand in his life)

"The Tyrant of No-Count Yakuman" Makishima (keeps pushing for unrecognized yaku)

"The Shaky Hand of God" Fukutomi (either crushes everyone or causes them to win big)

Thank you again for reading! Take care!


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